![]() ![]() Nintendo was so ashamed of Pokémon Blue that a remake was omitted, and a brand new game that had nothing to do with Blue, called LeafGreen, was created. Nintendo was so proud of Pokémon Red that the game was subject to its very own remake on the Game Boy Advance, which fans will know as FireRed. Oh, and that Blue Dabba Dee Scooby Doo song. Blue is a shit color, as evidenced by this crap TV show. The only thing that Pokémon Blue has anything in common with is a stupid kid’s TV show that features a lonely man who imagines that he’s talking to children and a cartoon dog which is pretty fucking weird and not really appropriate viewing for five-year-olds. Now let’s look at all the things that are blue: Blue’s Clues. These are just a few of the amazing red things, all of which share a color with the best Pokémon game ever made. Think of all the awesome things that are red: The Red Arrows, Red Dead Revolver, Red XIII, Omega Red, The Hunt For Red October, Robin Red Riding Hood, Red or Dead, Red Red Wine, Red Light District, The Red Skull, Red Faction, Pokemon Red, Red Mages, Navik the Red, Red Octane, The Red Baron, The Red Army, Red Faction (the other one), Red Dwarf, Red Rooms, Simply Red, N ight of the Living Red, Red Sky at Night, Shepherd’s Delight. I think I’ll stick with the dragon, thank you very much, which also gets bonus points for constantly setting fire to that annoying fucking cunt from the cartoon who sounds like the Karate Kid but isn’t. Blastoise looks like the fat one out of Keenan & Kel, you know that show about two sisters who never knew how much they missed ya. Stupid Blue fanboys will try to argue that Blastoise is better but it obviously isn’t because I said it isn’t and that means it isn’t. Obviously it is Charizard that is the one that is better you idiot! Tell me what’s better - a firebreathing dragon that is all massive and brilliant, or a stupid fat Bowser thing with two Super Soakers on its back. Red has Charizard on the box, while Blue has Blastoise on it. Charizard is blatantly better than Blastoise: That is pretty radical when you think about it without thinking too hard.Ģ. Gloom is much better because it turns into Vileplume which is fun to say, and it also had an English accent in the cartoon which makes it awesome.Īrbok is Cobra spelled backwards and with a K. If I wanted a game with a yellow flower that has a vagina for a mouth, I’d ask for it, thanks. A snake would kick the shit out of a duck in real life, especially a duck that’s on fire and has a bum on its face and looks a bit like a Downey Syndrome.Īlso, Blue got Bellsprout, and Bellsprout is fucking shit. ![]() Magmar is basically a duck that is on fire and has an arse on its head, which is absolutely stupid and is nowhere near as good as Arbok, which is a big scary snake. Pokémon Red and Blue have their own unique sets of pocket monsters that can be captured and battled and traded all up, and naturally it’s Pokémon Red that gets the lion’s share of all the good ones, while Blue is stuck with crap nonsense like Magmar. Read on and bask in the warm waters of the Fact Sea. I am a hardcore gamer, and that means I can draw huge lines between anything and say that one thing is better if I own that thing.įollowing is a list of reasons that I have written thanks to my brain that will prove why Pokémon Red is better than Pokémon Blue, and why anybody who even remotely likes anything to do with Pokémon Blue should be considered a social Pariah and made to wash their dirty little mouths out with soap for saying they like playing such a rubbish game. Some of you may feel that one can’t successfully draw discrepancies between two games that are essentially the same, but those people are obviously stupid. Pokémon Red is blatantly better than Pokémon Blue and if you disagree with me you are a spastic.
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